"The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive, a lot madder and a lot saner, than the average person." F.Barron

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Computer geek speak

I came across this and thought of my mom, my favorite computer geek. Thought I would share. I hope it puts a smile on your face too.

>-------- The information went data way --------<

(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...

Access denied - nah nah na nah nah!

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...

Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. (Leonard Brandwein)

Beware of geeks bearing gifs.

Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!

Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

Bugs come in through open Windows.



Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

Computer programmers don't byte - but they nybble a bit.

Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.

Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.

Computers are God's way of telling you that you're not confused enough.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Computers can never replace human stupidity

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

Document my code???? Why do you think they call it "code"?

Don't byte off more than you can view.

Double your drive space - delete Windows

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.

FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue...

Fax is stranger than fiction

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Friends don't let Friends use Windows

The geek shall inherit the earth.

Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.

Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.

Hold a hard drive to your ear - listen to the C:

How many computer programmers would it take to change a light bulb?

None - that's a hardware problem.

I hit the Control key but I'm still not in control!

I keep hitting 'escape,' but I'm still here.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing

If you touch any key, our software will lock up. Call us and we'll blame it on Microsoft. (Scott Adams)

It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!

Life would be easier if I had the source code.

MacIntosh computers are made by geniuses for idiots; IBM computers are made by idiots for geniuses.

Man v1.0, Woman v1.1

Any questions?

Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. (Dave Platt)

May the Source Code be with you.

Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems. (Linus Torvalds, creator of Linux)

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

New Adages:

ASCII and you shall receive.

ROM wasn't built in a day.

Byte the bullet.

Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.

Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well.

Old programmers never die. They just lose their memory.

Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.

On a clear disk you can seek forever.

Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Real programmers don't document...If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

RUNTIME ERROR 6D at 417A: 32CF: Incompetent user

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don't. And there will be a special name for them...webmistresses. (Scott Adams)

There are 10 types of people in the world...those who understand binary and those who don't.

There's no place like

This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off."

Those whom the gods would destroy, they first teach BASIC.

To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."

Virtual Reality is its own reward.

What boots up must come down.

What's the difference between a Macintosh and an etch-a-sketch?

You don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.

Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

Will code for food

Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"

You can't teach an old mouse new clicks

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